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Choosing differently |
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Why I am choosing to birth differently this time
"With my first birth, I read widely and went to pregnancy yoga classes and was very positive about the future birth. Like many other first time mums, I had a lovely birth plan (basically no intervention and active labour) and the hospital did their best to stick to this.
HOWEVER, I birthed through the public program at the public hospital, which meant that there are strict rules and regulations about induction (even though my baby and I were healthy, I was booked for induction as she was ten days overdue), pushing time (any longer than two hours is apparently too stressful and stronger interventions were required), and baby being taken from the mother for testing (she had fluid on the lungs and I did not see her at all for twelve hours). I ended up birthing in stirrups, lights blazing, with an episiotomy, a baby on the resuscitation trolley and a major haemorrhage - all very dis-empowering and depressing.
My lovely concept of birth as a rite of passage was destroyed and I was left feeling completely at the mercy of others.
So, I am now pregnant with my second child and am feeling nervous about a repeat experience of my first birth. I do not want to hand my body and my child over to strangers. This time, I am having a doula at my side, which I feel is the first step in reclaiming the power I lost before. I feel so much more confident with her around and I trust this will translate into the birth experience. With a doula as our advocate, the pressure will be taken off my husband and he is also feeling much empowered by our choice this time around. I hope that some healing can take place through this second birth and am now looking forward to the experience."
- Lucy, Brisbane
Why I Chose a Home Birth last time:
"It is hard to explain why I chose a Homebirth except to say that it was something that had always appealed to me. But I never thought people like me actually did. I’m an educated, professional woman. The best and safest place for us to birth is at the hospital! Or so I thought. The hospital birth of my first child was the single most devastating thing that has ever happened to me and to this day I cannot speak about it without breaking down. I’m not sure I will ever overcome that experience. It left me feeling ashamed, abused, useless and isolated.
My decision to Homebirth was a long one. Heather recommended I enlist the help of a Doula for my (then) planned hospital birth, and I was thrilled to meet one of the most amazing women on this planet. My doula was inspirational in helping me overcome my fear of birth and of allowing me to recognize my own strength. She never once suggested a homebirth, but lent me books and DVD’s on different types of birth and home birthing always seemed so magical. However, I still did not consider it an option. These women who choose to homebirth all seemed much stronger in character than me. I was just an ordinary woman, how could I do that?
When I was five months pregnant, my friend birthed in her car (on the way to the hospital). I was so thrilled for her (as she did not have to endure a hospital birth). My friend’s ‘car birth’ was quick, easy and “fun”! Her first words were “I want to do that again”. She was the first person I had met that had not had a baby at the hospital, and her baby was born easily and healthy (and got to keep his cord blood!). My mind started ticking…
When I was seven months my cousin was arranging a homebirth. She had a ‘surprise’ pregnancy after having IVF twins only 18months earlier. I had never known anyone to try a homebirth before… I watched and waited… Her homebirth required a transfer after a grueling three days at home with no progress. I was so proud of her, her story was inspirational, her courage, strength, wisdom and of course having a healthy baby girl. Her need for a transfer in no means discouraged me from a homebirth, if anything, it was the switch that I needed to confront my doula and ask “would you mind if we didn’t go to the hospital”, “I mean, if everything is going OK, can we stay at home?” Once my doula knew what I wanted she helped me prepare, help me get my head space out of the TV version of birth, to see what birth could be, what it should be, a normal, natural occurrence that has the ability to transcend you as a person.
In my last weeks of my pregnancy I was truly glowing, I knew my baby was in the right position for birth. I knew in my mind how to birth and knew that only I could do it. I had chosen the music, the candles, the artwork and images. I’d prepared for the worst (hot packs, vomit buckets, towels everywhere) a pool, and was registered at the local hospital in case I needed a transfer.
But in the end, all I needed was my mind.
When my labour started I was at peace, I saw Heather for a treatment (which moved the sensation from my back to my tummy- that is the baby out of OP and into the optimal birthing position just with a few needles!!!!!) then drove home to eat. Between contractions I was smiling and when they got stronger my sense of euphoria got stronger. The contractions must have been a somewhat painful sensation as I would hum long and low but they did not feel abnormal, in fact they were easily managed, and after each contraction all I felt was pure ecstasy. I felt like I was at the best party in the world, I was in pure heaven, I was actually having fun. Yes, pushing the baby out was extremely painful, but at no time did I contemplate drugs or quitting, or anything other than “I’m having a baby, this is wonderful, this is a miracle, and this is exactly what I want to be doing and where I want to be doing it”.
When I lifted my baby out of the water and held her for the first time we bonded instantly, we cuddled forever in the glow of candles and in the silence of the full moon. It was pure love. My husband and I and our baby all then moved to our own bed and cuddled together as a family. I woke to a nutritious meal cooked by my Mum, and stayed in bed all day. My babymoon was perfect. I never had to change a nappy or listen to other women’s visitors when I was trying to nap, or eat terrible hospital food. My husband, my baby and I stayed in bed and enjoyed being a family. A wonderful, complete, happy family with super woman for a Mum.
I guess in the end, the reasons I chose a Homebirth were simple;
To ensure that my baby was born in the safest way possible.
To ensure that my birthing experienced enabled me to be the best Mum possible (not one that was wounded – physically and / or emotionally).
And Because:
- birth is a journey and I wanted to choose my travel companions.
- I had experienced the alternative, and I knew that there had to be a better way.
- I knew that only I could birth my baby, no one else.
- I had prepared for this, physically and mentally.
- I had the support of women healers whom I trusted and who believed that I could do it.
- birth is not a medical emergency but a spiritual process whose purpose is so much more than a screaming baby at the end."
- Catherine, Brisbane
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Contact Heather:
post: PO Box 201, Bulimba, Qld, 4171, Australia
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Why see Heather?
Because Heather:
- "is authoritative (in the knowledgeable sense)!
- empowers me to own my future and the decisions I make, giving me advice and resources to make those decisions.
- is committed and passionate about what she does and can do for people.
- is supportive and practical."
- Rebecca
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