Through my maternity
A woman’s life/a mother’s story
Motherhood intertwined with doing – in a male world.
It is very obvious to me reading through what I wrote below that I did l have for/in acupuncture and natural healing (and now bringing through my own style of work) BECAUSE of not in spite of my maternity.
Life post high school . .
Those who knew me at school may remember that I was adamant that I was never going to be a mother.
Had I been male this would have panned out so very differently.
This is a actually mother’s tale . . . 1977, 1984, 1986, 1994.
Young Heather – 14, 16, 17
Leaving halfway through 7th form (at 17) (1972) – and after initially hitch hiking up to the North Island, and working on an apiary, I took various jobs (usually full time), whilst studying Sociology and Psych and Ed degree part time. My most memorable was the stint at Templeton Hospital as a training officer. I loved bringing out the best for the massively handicapped people.
At 20, (1974) life sent me over to Australia to visit my grandmother – where I met my first husband and ‘dropped out’ of mainstream life again. Apparently as a ‘hippie’ (likely the only ‘straight’ one ever encountered – no drugs – not even coffee) living in the back blocks of northern NSW. (Upper Main Arm)
Finding myself as a new mum (at 21) – and being financially challenged, I went on a quest – to ensure that my child was not as unwell as his dad had been all his life. Finding that acupuncture had helped his dad, I began study this. Sean was at that stage 6 weeks old. I lived to go to college. Lights turned on!!!! I started hitch hiking with my new bub up and down the road (170 Km) to Brisbane, studying acupuncture part time.
From there I added in all natural ways to help a body heal. By 1981, (26) I had co designed, co written and was teaching an undergraduate course for a few years. Politically active in the national acupuncture world, after another child, I retired from the college to privately write and deliver post graduate workshops and manuals. I was mainly known as who to consult when all else failed. Prior to IVF starting up and had always been in Brisbane as my base..
In 1986, (at 29) the birth of my third child set this all aside. She was massively brain injured. Also it turns out vastly vaccine damaged as well as being profoundly autistic. (From birth I would say). So ..my very own inhouse patient.
Always the one to be called upon when all hope was lost – it was my turn to pull this rabbit out of the bag. Which I did. No stone unturned stuff – and prior to Google. International and local ‘way out’ ways found and used and worked.
Neurological rehabilitation now also became my specialty. Rescue mission with hordes of volunteers (I taught them) in and out of the house for years – and getting my ‘about to die’ baby to walk, and be a loving being. Until she was taken out again by the MMR vaccine. Cognitive dissonance alert . . .not what people want to hear. Something I will regret forever.
Forging ahead as well as being her and the boys’ mum alone – by 1992, (at 37) I had changed the course of acupuncture education and delivery in Australia, had set up many clinics, revolutionised the way pregnancy and fertility can be, and launched into correcting HIV/AIDS and terminal prognoses.
At 39 – Another pregnancy appeared almost at the end of my heroic full time Bach of Adult Ed (as a single mum, keeping the very high needs, volatile, often almost dying daughter and the two older boys and me functional). I got to ‘drop out’ again. Finally completing that degree project 15 years later. Having escaped home to Chch pregnant, I returned back to Brisbane 7 months later. To restart the life I had left. With a baby – but not the two children I had arrived with in tow.
Leaving Kathryn behind in Chch and sending Josh to his dad in Perth.
Remaking my life again, going back into natural health problem solving, teaching third years again, writing more edgy workshops, I branched out into other energy healing and personal growth areas. Time passed. . .
I shifted countries – little knowing it was but a break – establishing my healing sanctuary – back to Australia. .
At 50 – Landing back in NZ in 2005, I wrote my ‘What Dads Can Do’ epic – manual and DVDs and charts – and returned yet again to Bne – this time to rescue my youngest son. Then the middle one. By solving problems for others in my busy Brisbane clinic.
I teach internationally on pregnancy and fertility – as a ‘high risk’ maternal consultant, I have been the ‘go to ‘person for Gloriavale for the past 13 years. I prefer to work when there is apparently no chance/choices. There always is – when we ask different questions. Always more challenges. Always a new frontier.
My husband Duncan and I have been together nearly 16 years – and have settled on the West Coast where I am sometimes. Until recently, mainly still ‘holding the fort’ in Brisbane where I have my own healing centre and am still teaching my new therapy multi/modality style to all who seek me out. I have been commuting in and out of NZ since mid 2006.
Now a grandmother of two.
Deeply concerned about the future – their’s especially
In the meantime. ..
I am prolifically writing eBooks, online courses and general posts.
Having distilled my life work into a new therapy – involving multi modality/ multi cultural and multi lineage ways . .
To get it all done . . . (What I am here to do)
I have decided that 65 is the new 30
My adult life has been in service to the children’s needs or patients.
I will now construct a life where the new tandem recumbent takes us.
Teenage years – at school we actually are a tribe. Whether we ever feel it or not. We hold a space… We may never revisit this – or rejoin it. We still carry each other’s stories in a way no one else does.
So much of our teenage lives were played out forever after this.
Foundations of being were laid. There.
Here is what people normally expect/want to see – a list of accomplishments
And from then/now on?
Choice . . .