What Lies Beneath?

When looking as an astute acupuncturist, a different picture of health and wellbeing emerges if we take off the veneer of ‘niceness’ and look to the common things we all accept as part of who we are.

Very tricky woman’s bleeding and pain issues seem to go hand and hand with having breasts and ‘growing up’. PMS seems an accepted part of being a woman, or living or working with them. Nocturnal tooth grinding is apparently remediable by getting an orthodontic splint made up by the dentist. Headaches seem to be accepted as ‘they run in the family’ . . . Antidepressant usage seems to have been embraced as a way to get through hard bits in our lives . . . Chiropractors see spasms and tense muscles that ‘put the back out’ . . .

But what if we change focus – outside the physical?
Are we more than bits of flesh?

Energy moves. What do we do when we do not wish to feel - we hold back, we squash ourselves, we try to put on a happy face or whatever . . . . . This may appear to ‘work’ – but eventually this backwater torrent has to be expressed – and maybe at night it becomes the perfect time for the inner repressed self to express – the jaw activates; horrendous nightmares may surface; talking and tossing in sleep . . .

Possibly it all bubbles to the surface when premenstrual – maybe it seeps out when we are so exhausted that our fuse is too short – we may always think it just is supposed to be this difficult to ‘keep positive’ . . . .

Behind the stress’ of everyday life – maybe the actual CAUSE of the gut problem, the vague sense of unease and the ‘hormonal’ issues is actually a life not quite in alignment with the inner longings.

Possibly we have lost our way.

We do still feel – regardless of the nice veneer, the polite acquiescence and the civil tongue we keep in our mouth . . . . but what do we do with the rage, the hatred, the “it’s not fair” and the hurt, betrayal and unloved/excluded stuff that keeps simmering underneath? It keeps bobbing up when least expected – and so we take a breath and self medicate somehow - and stuff it down somewhere.

HABITS – “FRIENDS’ IN DISGUISE?

Maybe smoking a cigarette allows it to be stuffed down/hidden again – maybe that also accounts for the eating dilemmas we have – swallowing something stops the other stuff arising - quick I am upset – what else can I put in my mouth? Maybe the bottle – maybe chocolate does it for you – maybe the dreaded ‘harder stuff’ . . . . and maybe just the little ‘happy’ pills the medicos so kindly dispense . .

And what do we do with the feelings that happen seemingly independently of our best theories? What do we do with the body responses? What do we do with the distress that we medicate through our habits? Coffees kick starting us in the morning – alcohol to help us unwind at the day’s end? Gym to help us feel better . . . . Cigarettes to make the day go easier . . . a reward and a break from being busy . . .

What to do about the stuff that seems to fuel the inner fire? That pops up unbidden when ‘PMS’ or ‘hormones are blamed for the cause of our bitchiness and angst? The rage, fury and irked ness that seems to come and to go and then re - appears – out of nowhere.

Eventually the tooth grinding gets us to the dentist – or maybe the dentist tells us this is what we are doing . . . . and suggests a mouth guard to protect the teeth. The chiropractor has all sorts of theories as to why you may need ongoing monthly life time assistance – and yet you still feel as though it is somehow life is all still out of joint . . … The doctor may well put you on some ‘muscle relaxant’ to calm your nerves/gut/sleeping BUT – what about that vague unease you feel about not being more of yourself and a little less of what everyone else seems to want from you?
What about getting up in the morning and deciding what to do today . . .?

Where did personal freedom go?

What about all that is swept under the inner carpet, as you are just too busy to ‘deal’ with that . . .? Where is the stray minute to ‘undo’ yourself? Enjoy just being here?

What about undoing the rage that is coming out subconsciously? What about exploring what lies beneath the nice/happy/calm and peaceful exterior?

Wound up like a screw that is in too tight, we get more and more reactive – life is all just out to get us – and ANYONE who even looks at us is right for the taking . . . long enough, or with a big enough life bite and we have no room left – so a leakage starts - we feel that we can no longer live in this life; with this man; in this job; this tension that creates hell, with yet another round of IVF; with periods that are from hell . . .

So then – reach for a happy pill now when the muscle spasms/IBS or the other gut/body (masking the life misery) problems get too much . . . . or what else is offered?

Eventually we start taking sleeping pills as being awake nightly around 1-3 am loses its appeal after the struggle with staying alert and aware at work . . . maybe we finally realise that we are not overly happy (when was the last time I laughed?) and then maybe acquiesce to the doctor’s suggestion that the distress in our body will all feel better if we take a little white pill – after all who ISN’T talking antidepressants these days?

WHAT MIGHT A HEALER SAY?

For many it is a surprise to hear that they (may) have anger – “what – who me?” But I am really calm, peaceful, don’t rock the boat, hit holes in walls, or mouth off . . . . . I am a ‘nice’ person . . “How dare you say that I am like that - I never feel angry” - ah yes – there is a switch in there somewhere, and the inner beast is channeled elsewhere – where else is the energy for all the headaches/period distortions/gut traumas and shoulder/neck/back and head stresses coming from?

Whatever else has to happen – the tiredness/waves of lethargy/inability to think, keep it together – at what point do we see that we are so full that there is no room for normal to happen any more? What does feeling it mean - surely life can not get much more distressing – “oh but that is my . . . . . .” and out comes the story - the family traits and the “I have always been like this” - yes – you have always been like this, and yes you come from a long line of people who have trained you to react /respond as you are. These are the consequences – but all my family have bad periods/migraines/arthritis/tricky guts . . . . . yes – that is the inheritance.

We all learn to respond to life and events the way we were brought into the world believing was the only way. One we become more independent – we then get to reflect and ask ourselves - is it though?

Possibly we all need defragmenting - just like our computer does from time to time.
So how to?
Possibly now is the time to start getting out of your own way?